From our everyday conversations to some outdated training guidance, it's common to hear descriptors like "stubborn" thrown around when our companion animals don't respond as expected. We might think, "She's just being stubborn," or "He knows what to do; he's just choosing not to." Let's take a moment to reconsider that notion. From dogs, to cats, to horses and more: Is "stubborn" a behaviour? Or simply a label that clouds our understanding of what could be going on? 

What We Often Misinterpret as Stubbornness

When we label our animals as stubborn, it typically means they're not meeting our expectations. I hear this as people saying:

• "They never listen"
• "They only listen when I have food"
• "They know what to do!"
• "They stopped sitting!"

Instead of exclaiming frustration, let's shift our questioning to something more constructive: "What's getting in the way of my dog responding?"

Animals Don't Intend to Challenge Us

It's essential to recognise that animals are not out to test our patience. They don't have a moral agenda: they don't know our weird human rules. Instead, they respond to their current environment, their previous learning experiences, and their emotional state. So, why might they not be listening to your cues?

Common reasons are:

• They don't know-know it! We haven't generalised the cue in different settings: inside, outside, at night, upside down, at a party. Practising in contexts matters!
• They might be sore: this one I see every day when someone says their dog "refuses" to do something. Investigate pain!
• The reward doesn't hold value for that task in that environment: generalise and check your reinforcers!
• They're worried or distracted about something in their environment.
• They're having an off day: just like people, sometimes they're tired or feel unwell.
• The cue has been poisoned: have you recalled your dog and then been reprimanded for not coming back quickly enough? I wouldn't come back either!

Reframing Stubbornness

If you catch yourself thinking your dog is being "stubborn," try to view it as a communication from them. It could mean: "I don't feel safe," "I don't understand," or "I need more help." Instead of pressing forward despite resistance, ask yourself:

• Do they understand what I'm asking? Am I being clear?
• Is the environment overwhelming?
• Have I reinforced this behaviour in a similar context before?
• Is there some small sign of pain or discomfort I need to investigate?
• Do they feel safe and emotionally secure?

Effective, kind training involves meeting our animals where they are, not where we want them to be.

Why it matters

Using words matters. When we label a dog as "stubborn," it can lead to adverse outcomes such as:

• Increased frustration and impatience on our part
• Poor, unclear training on our part
• Overlooking signs of pain, fear, or confusion
• Assuming they're out to get us, which harms our bond with them

Our mindset shifts significantly based on the labels we use. If we begin to see the dog as difficult or defiant, we might respond less kindly. However, viewing them as confused, scared, or under pressure invites us to be more curious and supportive. When your dog is not responding to your requests as you'd like, resist the urge to see it as defiance. Instead, take it as an opportunity to be curious and provide clarity. Take this from me, before I was a trainer I thought; she's being stubborn! When in fact, my dog had  had arthritis and hip dysplasia, and was severely stressed when out and about. This thinking of stubborn made me ignore what she was telling me with her body language. It matters!

Think instead of "stubborn", can you:

• Can you break the task down?
• Do you need to practice more in a quieter environment first?
• Do you need to rethink your reinforcement?
• Do you need to consult with your medical team or behavioural professional to determine how to achieve the response you'd like?

Let's dump stubborn!

The next time you hear someone describe their pet as "stubborn," let's challenge that notion. Ask them, "What do you mean by that?"

Animals are constantly communicating in the best way they can. It's our responsibility to listen and respond with understanding. By rethinking our language and approach, we can foster a more supportive training environment for the companions we live with—and enjoy a stronger bond with them in the process.

Do I still sometimes use anthropomorphised terms like say my dog is being a brat or stubborn? Sure, in jest, I am only a silly human who likes to tell silly stories about my dog! It's even sometimes funny when she chooses something that's more rewarding to her than the thing I might ask her, but I respect that and get curious and treat her with kindness. 

A letter to my "stubborn dog" and all she taught me 

- Alex, Dig Dog Training